Wednesday, May 1, 2013

3 Weird Things I am Learning about Men



I feel like once you get engaged there should be a how-to book of what to expect when you move in with the opposite sex and how-to adjust. Even though I have been married almost three years there are still things my husband does that catches me completely off guard. I am hoping it is not just my husband that surprises me with these odd things. Please tell me it is universal across the male sex.

Pretend makes the bed. Since Matt typically leaves for work later than I do, and lies in bed longer than I do, one of his chores is to make the bed. Making the bed and putting away laundry are two things Matt hates to do. I religiously kick off my socks in the middle of the night, and if you made the bed correctly you might find a pair of socks wedged at the bottom of the bed. Since Matt pretend makes the bed every time I throw the sheets back I find at least 4 pair of socks at the bottom of the bed. So that’s where all my socks went. When will my husband actually make the bed?

Drinks expired milk! Lately I have been trying to drink organic milk and purchase organic dairy products in hopes that it will help regulate my hormones and award me with a baby. I know, I know, that is probably ridiculous, but every little thing helps right? Matt and I took our bi-monthly trip to Sprouts and got a brand new gallon of organic milk. When we got home I proceeded to toss out the expired milk in the fridge that Matt has been hording. “Are you serious Cassie? That milk is perfectly fine!” –Matt. “Matt this milk is expired. Why are you so gross? We have a brand new gallon.”- Me. “Cassie is says ‘best buy’ it may not be the best, but it isn't the worst.”- Matt. Is this really the logic men use when determining whether or not to throw out milk? I proceeded to dump the milk down the drain as Matt lapped the running milk into his mouth. Please let me this has happened to you?

Puts barbecue sauce on everything. What is up with men and their condiments? Once upon a time in our marriage I would attempt to cook a well-rounded meal, which is quite a change from my typical Dino nuggets and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I have since stopped cooking well rounded meals because my husband will lather anything I make in barbecue sauce. I mean everything…. Salad, pasta, stew, soup… you name it, he puts barbecue sauce on it. So is it my cooking? Or does he really just love barbecue sauce? I haven’t figured it out yet, I don’t know if I want to.


If you have ever been a roommate of mine you know I am extremely hard to live with. I am a bossy neat freak that wants everything done on my time. But I have had to slowly learn to adjust to living well with my husband. Any words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated.